dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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