I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
We were destined to go to rehab together
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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