I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
