id be glad to
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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