she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
