Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
my liver is dry heaving
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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