I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Tell her she can't have a vagina
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
