I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Let's paint friendship bongs
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Randomize
