At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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