He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I forgot wine drunk hurts
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
