never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
