if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
