Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
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