They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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