Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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