You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize