Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize