When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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