we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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