I didn't shave. On purpose
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize