this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
