Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
