She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
