She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Semen is not good for contacts.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
