i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
