fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
