ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
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I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize