I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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