Do you still have your period?
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
