i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
