hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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