Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
