I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
