would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
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