It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
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