ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
