but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
