You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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