Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
