Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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