dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
