so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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