dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
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