Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
