i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
