Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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