My sheets look like a crime scene.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize