you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
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I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
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I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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