omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
