Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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