look no pants
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize