Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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