I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
