Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
