So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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