She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Even my vagina gasped.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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