We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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