I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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