Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
