She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
