Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
