Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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