can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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